>>Honestly, there's just not much interest from readers, you know?
I think your story is excellent, but you have to remember your audience. People who read original slash tend to want to see a relationship as the core of the story. As well as you handled every aspect of this story, that one intangible *thing* that would vest a reader in a relationship rather than in Loukas as an individual character swept along by events, is missing. If you changed that one thing, you'd have readers in droves. For instance, Iereus -- if you want the readers to truly care about Loukas picking him over every other concern in his life, you have to give us something special about the man and his relationship with Loukas. As it stands, Loukas is just one of four lowly wives, and he's given up everything to stay in that position. It seems almost surreal. It's hard for me to root for that as an ending. In any event, that's my opinion. If you were to make Iereus a little younger, and instead of spending so much narrative on the wife politics and concentrated instead on the development of a special relationship between the two guys, you'd have more success.
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Date: 2010-02-11 09:40 pm (UTC)I think your story is excellent, but you have to remember your audience. People who read original slash tend to want to see a relationship as the core of the story. As well as you handled every aspect of this story, that one intangible *thing* that would vest a reader in a relationship rather than in Loukas as an individual character swept along by events, is missing. If you changed that one thing, you'd have readers in droves. For instance, Iereus -- if you want the readers to truly care about Loukas picking him over every other concern in his life, you have to give us something special about the man and his relationship with Loukas. As it stands, Loukas is just one of four lowly wives, and he's given up everything to stay in that position. It seems almost surreal. It's hard for me to root for that as an ending. In any event, that's my opinion. If you were to make Iereus a little younger, and instead of spending so much narrative on the wife politics and concentrated instead on the development of a special relationship between the two guys, you'd have more success.